Remember Susan Cain? You may have seen her fabulous TED talk that I posted a week or two ago, based on her book, Quiet: the Power of Introverts.
The guru on introverts in an extraverted world, she gives ten tips for parenting introverts on her website.
For me (an extravert pretending to be an introvert at the moment, married to an introvert), the most useful three were:
- Calling introverted children ‘shy’ stigmatises them and makes them see social nervousness as a fixed trait rather than an emotion they can manage
- Get to big social occasions (like birthday parties) early so it feels like other kids are joining your child rather than that she has to bust into an established group.
- Teach an introverted child to stand up for himself.
See the full list on her website.
You might also be interested in Adam S McHugh’s The Introverted Church, a website (and book) dedicated to making Christian communities more hospitable to introverts.
Scot McKnight at JesusCreed hosted McHugh introducing his ideas here; he also linked to this recent article on how introverts and extraverts use language (differently, it turns out).
Back to parenting introverted children: I’d be keen to hear your ideas and experiences, as a parent of an introvert, or as an introvert yourself, reflecting on your childhood and adulthood.
- How do you help an introvert thrive at different stages of development?
- How do you speak to them about being introverted?
- How do you speak about them to others to help them understand and nurture them?
- Any other thoughts?
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