A little Monday funny for you: Jason Good, writer, comedian and family man.
This is the opening of his nice and ranty reaction to the Time magazine feature on breastfeeding children:
There are too many issues related to the recent Time Magazine cover for me to address them all. Is the photo incendiary? Yes. Did the boy have a choice about whether to be in the photo? Probably, but I doubt he understood it. Do kids really stand on chairs to nurse? Who cares, but I kind of hope so, because it’s hilarious. Are you a bad mother if you don’t breast feed your child? No. Is attachment parenting better than other kinds of parenting? No, it’s just different. Will I buy Time Magazine? No, I will steal it. Do I enjoy breasts? Yes. Do I like heavy metal music? You bet. Does that have anything to do with anything? No it does not.
I was breastfed as a baby. Honestly, I feel squirmy even typing “breast.” Twelve years after I stopped nursing, breasts became boobs, and then in high school they became tits (and a plethora of other names), and now, as a husband and father, they’re back to breasts. I’ve come full circle. I see them as a means of nourishing children, and as sexual objects. I’m not sure how I feel about that. The fact that I sexualize the one piece of female anatomy from which I once fed, makes me feel grotesquely simple. I think that feeling is at the heart of why people are uncomfortable with the recent image on the cover of Time Magazine.
But for the real laugh-out-loud (literally), I can recommend his (slightly sweary) insights into a two-year-old’s emotional rollercoaster:
Each of these “emotions” lasts about 3 seconds.
- I wanna play with Daddy’s phone.
- I wanna put on Mommy’s shoes.
- GET MOMMY’S SHOES OFF MY FEET NOW!
- I wanna open and close the thermostat.
- I wanna turn on and off the light on the microwave.
- Is there anyone here with a phone I haven’t played with yet?
[Read the half-hour in between at his website, and make sure you scroll down to Christina Timberlake’s comment with the mother’s commentary..]
Oh, my sides! I just re-read the whole list (I stopped the excerpt before it got too sweary) and snorted at some risk to my porridge.
Feel free to recommend other stuff to make our day in the comments. May the force be with you as you begin your Monday.