Parenting is flipping hard work, yes? You’re responsible for, as my friend Jess says, tiny sociopaths. They’re cute, sure, but they have little in the way of empathy, self-control, or social graces. You get no sick leave. You’re operating on so little sleep that serious reading now means clicking ‘see more’ on Facebook. Communities like […]
This is part of a series aiming to help us all go easier on ourselves and make our parenting lives more enjoyable and satisfying. The whole series list is here and more links are at the bottom of the post. [Update: 2.5 years later I’ve revised this and added some stuff in. Feel free to suggest […]
At the risk of cheating in this series by pretty much stealing everyone else’s magic word… here’s the next instalment. Six words you should say today, from Rachel Macy Stafford in the Huffington Post: Very rarely does one sentence have immediate impact on me. Very rarely does one sentence change the way I interact with […]
I’ve just reviewed a stunningly good Joy Cowley book for the Kiwi Families website: As Easter approaches, and shops are already full of hot cross buns and chocolate eggs, I know plenty of families would like to bring some balance. Exploring the original story of Easter isn’t just for Christian households, either. If you’d like […]
What kind of parent were you going to be like? Did you always imagine yourself going on daily nature adventures or doing crafts with your pre-schoolers? Reading aloud around the fire on winter evenings? Dispensing your hard-won wisdom to a rapt audience of eager teenagers? If you thought about parenting much before you had kids, […]
Richie McCaw, the All Black captain some call the best rugby player ever, has a plan for winning the next World Cup. It involves a long holiday from rugby. What a wise and counter-cultural choice. In a society that is not only getting busier, but feeling prouder of the acceleration, the relentlessness of our activity, rest […]
When social work researcher BrenĂ© Brown discovered the crucial importance of vulnerability for human wellbeing and connection, she had a breakdown. Well, she says in her 2010 TEDx talk, ‘I call it a breakdown, my therapist calls it a spiritual awakening.’ She was a perfectionist who wanted to clean up messes of all kinds. She […]
One of the perils of parenthood is believing we’re in charge. I’m talking about how we can overestimate the influence we have on our kids. They look like blank slates when they come out, right? Gunky, wrinkly blank slates. Ready for us to clean up and write the story of their lives on. But of […]
I don’t think I was a perfectionist at kindergarten, but certainly by my first year or two of primary school I had begun the fear-based behaviours associated with the word. I was afraid of trying new things in case I couldn’t do them. I never learnt to play elastics or skipping or handstands at lunchtime, […]